Building Relationships

[curiouscollege2]

So, it seems like so many people here say they want a relationship, something more then just S-- or being used as an object.

However, they don't seem to follow through on that. Please correct me if I'm wrong, but relationships start with communication right?

I've emailed several of the people on this site, just looking to start conversations, get some email dialouges going. However, I've never got any answer back, and this is after I've seen that they've looked at my profile.

They say they want relationships, and some of them even have penpal listed in their desires, but still no response. I can understand if they aren't interested in me, but is it to much to ask for a simple response saying so, instead of just ignoring the email?


And how do you build a relationship online without emailing? I mean, the chat is kind of dead on this site, what else is there to start a relationship with and get to know each other?

[(deleted)]

`I think that most people are just full of it when it comes to being honest on there profile. For some reason, those people haven't quite learned that telling the truth and being honest is very important to most people.

Some probably even think that the more boxes in the "what are you looking" for section of their profile, the better chance they'll have of finding someone to have a purely s----l 'relationship' with.

Personally, I don't understand why anyone would lie to begin with; but more than that, or why they would lie about that in particular. If some people are looking for strictly a s----l relationship then perhaps they should join an adult/se---lly geared website. There are plenty of them out there, and this site has a few of them in the advertisement section (to the right of the main screen).

If you think about it, they are looking for a relationship but forgot to mention that the first word in the relationships they are looking for (a s----l one).

I totally understand your frustration, unfortunately that is what society has come to, people who say what they think other people want to hear.

[(deleted)]

`Hey Curious! the discription of this being a dating site is wrong , i have made a few friends (and some enemies) but the few enemies just don't like my honesty because i know the truth hurts some.

The word ignore as far as i know is derived from the word ignorant so we have alot of ignorant people in this world (and on this site) and to be honest apart from just having a say in the forums and just having a laugh at the pathetic emails i receive i realy don't know what other reason there is to log on here.

This site needs to get its act together and start to promote the profiles of ordinary people and by ordinary i mean the real people and not the fakes we see on a daily basis on the whos popular , they are not here looking for a date or a relationship there only reason is to "be popular" .

This site will kill itself if it continues to display pictures of tg models to attract members too because those images are not people looking for a date . I always say and always will that you cannot base a relationship on deception as it will fail and that will be the downfall of this site and others like it "deception" and the whos popular page is just a joke! as it is so easy to play with and i proved that about a month ago .

Looking on another site a few days ago i saw a TS saying she lives in London but on here she lives in the USA and my personal opinion is she (if she is a she) is actualy living in fantasy land but again only here to be popular , to them its just a competition jumping from one site to another to be top of whatever there is to be top at.

On the home page it says how many people have joined this month! i think next to it it should display how many left this month too .

There realy is no hope for any ordinary trangendered person looking for a ralationship on places like this unless the attention seekers are removed because whilst they are getting the attention the people who joined for the right reason are being ignored and that is just a plain and simple fact.

Gotta go got work to do but don't give up, it is highly unlikely that you will find anyone on here but there is a big world out there with "real people" in it.

Take care Julia.

[(deleted)]

`You might be better off to just not let it get under your skin this way, I don't think it is something personal, it just seems to me that an e-mail saying 'I don't like you' might seem rude, it wouldn't be hard to see how it could open up a world of unneeded drama, you think?

I get ignored sometimes too - I know, I know who could ignore such a wonderful human being right? Well let's keep the compliments to a minimum, I get self conscious.

Sometimes some of the ladies prefer the air brushed, photo-shopped profile that obviously came out of a Calvin Cline add, which given that as dudes we've been guilty of the same thing isn't an unreasonable position.

Only thing you can do is just say, 'well fooey' and go on. Don't take it personally - welcome to the human condition, unfortunately people don't stop being stuck ups simply because you enter into a new community. Keep trying, and good luck.

[(deleted)]

`Hi caveman! I think you are missing the point of curious's post.

HE is being ignored not just by a minority but the majority , he says he has emailed others after seeing they had viewed his profile because it seems they are showing an interest in him , this brings me back to the who's popular! "its the oldest trick in the book" they sit there clicking on others profiles knowing that they will get viewed back , as i said they are not here looking for a date they have just one thing on thier minds and that is being at the top.

Being polite costs nothing and i respond to every email i receive unless it is s----l nonsense.

As for photoshop and air brushing i still say it is deception , i am 54 years old today (happy birthday to me) and not ashamed to show myself as i look in real life now , i never tamper with my pics i just crop resize and upload them.

If you look on the whos popular there are a few missing as i outed them , there was little miss pencil in her mouth who dissapered after i outed that person in the forums because it was a scan of a genetic female from a magazine add and everyone thought she was wonderful! well she would be as she was a professional genetic female model "but" who was it realy? a person who put the scan up claiming to be that person but most likely a big fat hairy man lapping up the attention . Look there right now at who's all time popular , a blonde claiming to be 20 years old! i clocked that picture over 5 years ago on another website "yes the same picture" that would make her 14 or 15 years old at the time the picture was taken "what a load of crock" another fake! the site is full of them you try sending her (if it is a her) a message and see if you get a response or try the one in the blue and white stripe top! the one who doe'snt know how old she is! 19 or 20 it says (must be nice to have 2 ages) i think i will be 18 tommorow for a change but going back to the person just take a close look "no philtrum" it has been eraised making her look almost monkey like (cute if you are into monkeys) but it has been removed to remove stubble.
Then theres the new dark haired one who says she lives in the USA! very strange that one because on another website she lives in London England maybe if i get time i will look at a few more sites she maybe in Paris too .Now you tell me how are these people going to get a date? they don't know who they are or how old they are or even which country they live in! answer they do not want a date because all they want is attention which is taking attention away from the "real people".

Back to topic! ignoring emails is just being rude and ignorant but i admit to doing it but only because the received emails are rude or ignorant or just discusting , if i can be bothered i do answer some asking them would you walk up to me on the street and say that to my face? suprise! i get no reply.

If a box of cornflakes said on it "meet the girl of your dreams in just 3 minutes" then you opened it and all you got was cornflakes they would be ordered to remove them from the shelves followed by a law suit but it is ok to freely use such terms on websites "that is wrong" it is deception .

I am sitting here with the radio on in the background and my voice just came on there advertising a program on the BBC "a proud transexual voice" and its a voice i will keep on useing on any media outlet i can find untill i get the message out that we are all human with human feelings and at the very least deserve the same respect as any other man or woman but for all we have to go through in life we "should"get more respect! in my life time? never.

I am nothing special but i do not deceive people and am very happy with my life , i have everything i need exept a loving relationship but as i have said in the past if i am to die alone then thats the way it will be.

Take care Julia.

[(deleted)]

`I once heard an analogy made towards love, 'Love is like a pie chart, each part of the circle wants another part that don't want it (Good ol American English I know).'

The point being is that there has to be a physical attraction there too, if not then you're just close friends. That said, I admit I have yet to get an e-mail or any other notice I felt the need to simply ignore, but hell, look at some of these girls. That's not to say being cute is an all expense paid pass to be rude, but how many e-mails must some of them be getting, and what must some of them say? lol. I mean they're not all trying to be on top, surely.

I have no doubt most of them would be pretty poetic and charming, and many would probably have a hard time keeping up if they tried to respond to them all.

Understand, I'm not trying to justify rude behavior - I just like to try to understand both sides before I make any judgment calls.

In closing - I will say that, we never die alone, we are born of a long distinguished line of ancestry, with death IMHO being the mirror image of birth. As the old adage goes, we're born bald, and unable to walk, and we go out the same way...Or well, something like that anyway.

Slan go foill (good-bye for now)!

[(deleted)]

`Hi John(caveman) i am going to end this here as i think i have made my point! but others feel free to continue it.

You are a rare intelligent man as i have read every word you have written but i think you should and do know that most "not all" of the beautiful girls on here and places like it are not here for a date , there realy are some (real) truely beautiful girls on here who i envy myself but thats mainly due to my age because hard as it may seem to believe i once was good looking myself going back a few years.

So lets just have a little think about these gorgeous girls who have no time to respond to thier emails! why are they here? some have been on here for years and yet they are so beautiful! are they to beautiful that they cannot find a partner in the real world or so beautiful they think knowone is good enought for them? simple answer! they are not looking to meet anyone and this is the last time i will say this "all they want is attention" and as i have said before whilst they are getting the attention the real people loose out "get ignored" that is what this post was about being ignored.

I have been around long enought to work out whos who and who is for real and who is not and i would put it at 50/50 .Yesterday i logged on here and yet again i noticed another girl from England claiming to be living in the USA , thats 2 more now in a few days so why? well on the other site they both were the top viewed but others have finaly caught on that they are attention seekers, so how are they going to date or meet anyone from this site with the Atlantic Ocean there in the way? i know this is a small world now but that realy is taking the piss because they are not going to jump on an airline to the states to meet a complete stranger or visa versa.

As for me dieing alone! if there is knowone there for me it will happen but i think i will most likely find my partner in the real world because thats where i meet real people.

I walk through the centre of my town or any other town or city with my head held high , my confidence shows and so does the fact that i am happy and i hope that is what will one day attract a certain person to me (prefferably before i die) people look at me , people smile at me and people talk to me and i do pass up offers but thats because i know those people are not the right ones for me because i have foresight , i have never married or fathered children because i knew it would cause pain to them or myself if i had because i have always known who i am.

And don't think the reason i cannot find a partner is because i think i am to good for them like the gorgeous girls do because most of them say they are looking for something different than myself , i am just plain me and i want something that will have meaning to it and hopefully last.

Good discussion thanks.

Take care Julia.

[(deleted)]

`Just wanted to say I have your messages, for some reason they show up in the blocked list. Thanks for the information. :)

[feedback]

caveman35 wrote: ...for some reason they show up in the blocked list...

We just thought we would take a moment to remind everyone how the email system works.

Members in the U.S. and Canada only receive email (in their Inbox) if the message comes from another member in the U.S. and/or Canada UNLESS they modify the default settings for their 'approved' Country list.

If a member outside the U.S. or Canada sends an email to a member within the U.S. or Canada, and the sender is not in a Country in the recipient's 'approved' Country list, then the email goes into the Blocked folder.

Technically, we are not blocking the message, but we are letting the recipient see that the message is not coming from a Country in their approved Country list.

Please note that 'alerts' notifying members of new email messages ONLY go out when a message is received in a member's Inbox...so if a member in the U.S. and/or Canada wants to be alerted to messages from members in the U.K., then they have to update their 'approved' Country list.

Details on this issue and links to the Country list managent area appear at the top of the email page.

Thanks,


PS. In the past, we completely blocked messages from members not in a recipient's approved Country list, but we were 'encouraged' by members to modify the system to allow messages to be delivered...which is why we added the Blocked folder.

[heathiem]

`Sometimes i dont reply when people message me on other sites because all they say is "hi", which is so incredibly lame, or they are cismen and i have stated repeatedly on my profile that i'm only interested in FTMs and if they had read my profile, they probably would not have messaged me in the first place.

Either way, i wouldnt take it personally, maybe youre just not their type and they realized that after looking at your profile. I have looked at a lot of profiles of guys i wouldnt be interested in because i saw that they looked at mine first. *shrug*